#Letter Two: Good to know

Three commonly misunderstood and misused words:

1. Antisocial

Widely accepted definition:

Being overly shy, quiet and does not or rarely interact with people

Actual definition:

Exhibiting behaviour that harms others or is detrimental to societal cohesion and harmony. Types of antisocial behaviour include aggressiveness, withdrawal, destructiveness and disruptiveness. E.g. destroying properties, violence, complete inability to communicate with other beings, harrasment, being a public nuisance.

Correct term to used for shy behaviour and infrequent social interaction: asocial. You can also say the person is selectively social or socially awkward, but it's definitely wrong to use antisocial for shy behaviour.

2. Depressed:

Commonly misused when someone experiences one setback in life, or has been through a few tough days.

Depression refers to a mental condition where someone has been extremely down for a prolonged period of time, and often the person has suicidal thoughts and plans. Usually the person loses complete interest in engaging in any activity that used to be his or her favourite.

Better words to use to describe strong but likely temporary sadness: crushed, disheartened, distressed.

3. Introvert:

Commonly believed to be someone who is really quiet, boring, and generally a loner most of the time.

Actual definition: someone who has limited energy for socializing especially with people who aren't close with him or her, and with large groups. An introvert actually loves the company of close friends and family, where they can comfortably be themselves and speak their mind. Most importantly, they feel accepted for who they are around these people. They need to recharge and be given space after socialising, before they can socialise again. In fact, some of them have high EQ and are well loved by people who know them. They just prefer not to interact with people "on the surface", using small talks. Many prefer to have deep conversations. Personally I used to be someone who thrive at deep convos and suck at small talk.